Thomas Hooker Brewery - Watermelon Ale

Purchased From: Harvest Fine Wines & Spirits
Serving Type: 12 oz. bottle, poured into a Hooker pint glass

Kicking off what could be a long list of interesting and diverse Summer seasonals is Watermelon Ale from Hooker. I've reviewed quite a few Hooker brews, with unflinchingly positive results. This, is, unfortunately, the glaring exception.* Supposedly employing 'natural flavors,' this beer smacks of artificiality. To be sure, there is no actual watermelon involved here (let me know if I'm wrong, but I'd be extremely surprised).

The bottle pours a very light, extremely pale, straw body with a thin airy head bearing minimal retention and no lacing. Tons of active carbonation brings the glass to life. A very sweet candy watermelon aroma dominates the nose. It's somewhere between watermelon chewing gum and a watermelon jolly rancher. A feint hint of graininess follows the overbearing candy on the nose.

A short wave of flavor rolls in up front with a super-sweet watermelon-esque candy flavoring. The sugar onslaught slowly subsides to a mild grainy twang. The grains are weak and tea-like. There's no perceptible alcohol or body. Seems more like a cooled, unfermented, wort than beer. Sweetness rises again on the finish. The beer doesn't leave your teeth feeling as sugary as other fruit beers, but there's a hint. I guess you could say it's 'refreshing,' but it's barely beer.

Much different from my modus operandi, I poured more than half of this beer out. I'd prefer to drink or review a 'malternative' than this, even if it means getting down on one knee and chugging it to my embarrassment and the entertainment of others. The only other "beer" I might put in this category is Miller Chill. But, I haven't had one in years.

Final Verdict: F*

* - Many people actually like this beer (and I use the word beer lightly, here). You may be one of them. Maybe you've never had it, maybe you would like it. I'd say: "What you think passes for beer, I just can't understand" But, you're more than welcome to drink and enjoy it. Nothing against Hooker Brewery, but man, I just can't get behind this.